Language is a tool for concealing the truth. 
Zen of the Day (applied to real estate)
"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we first practice to deceive." Sir Walter Scott
Words have a life of their own and we must be careful how we use them, especially in real estate. Concealing the truth with words, or by omission of the same, is a dangerous path to embark upon. Whether spoken or written, words used to conceal the truth may be used against you at some future date, and justifiably so. Justice is seldom swift, but it has a very long shelf life.
In my twenty year real estate career, I've been bluntly asked to lie about an encroachment, asked to omit a disclosure and various other concealment requests from buyers, sellers and fellow agents. Happily, such requests are exceptions to the norm, but the opportunity to use language as a tool for concealing the truth arises all too often in the day to day operations of the real estate business.
No, is the only acceptable answer when asked to conceal the truth. You can spin it and massage it but a lie is still a lie. A lie is often only the postponement of the discovery of the truth--with consequences.
Personally, I like to sleep at night and avoid court appearances.
Norma Toering & Team RE/MAX Palos Verdes Realty
(310) 493-8333 / Office Phone: (310) 831-0800
PalosVerdesLifestyle - Nominated by Relocation.com as one of the top ten Los Angeles area real estate blogs. Ranked by Technorati in the top 1% of all blogs. As seen in the Daily Breeze newspaper.
South Bay Los Angeles cities I sell real estate, property, houses and homes in: Palos Verdes Estates, Rolling Hills, Rolling Hills Estates, Rancho Palos Verdes, San Pedro, Long Beach, Torrance, Lomita, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach and Manhattan Beach. Information is deemed reliable but not guaranteed.
Find Norma on: Facebook - Twitter - LinkedIn - Email Norma
Homes In Palos Verdes - Palos Verdes Agent Home
Palos Verdes Horse Property - Palos Verdes Property Blog
Needles River Front Land - Homes with Views in Palos Verdes
Palos Verdes Coastal Homes - Palos Verdes Homes
Palos Verdes Photography - Palos Verdes Videos
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes - Beach Cities Homes
Sell Smart, Buy Wise and Live Well
Norma Toering & Team RE/MAX Palos Verdes Realty
(310) 493-8333
PalosVerdesLifestyle- Norma's award winning site as the best Palos Verdes homes and real estate blog since 2007. Selected by Relocation.com as one of the top ten Los Angeles area real estate blogs. Chosen by MovingCost.com as one of the best Los Angeles realty blogs. Awarded 5 out of 5 stars by Lender411 blog review. Ranked by Technorati in the top 1% of all blogs. As seen in the Daily Breeze newspaper.
South Bay Los Angeles cities I sell real estate, property, houses and homes in: Palos Verdes Estates, Rolling Hills, Rolling Hills Estates, Rancho Palos Verdes, San Pedro, Long Beach, Torrance, Lomita, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach and Manhattan Beach. Based on information from the Association of REALTORS®/Multiple Listing as of the initial date of this article/blog publication and /or other sources. Display of MLS data is deemed reliable but is not guaranteed accurate by the MLS. The Broker/Agent providing the information contained herein may or may not have been the Listing and/or Selling Agent.
Find Norma on: Facebook - Twitter - LinkedIn - Email Norma
Palos Verdes Homes Blog - Palos Verdes Houses
Palos Verdes Horse Property - Palos Verdes Realtor Agent
Palos Verdes Coastal Homes - Los Angeles Home Search
Photos of Palos Verdes - Palos Verdes Videos
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes - Beach Cities Homes













Why lie? it makes no sense and like you I do sleep wiell at night. Good post and have a safe and Happy new Year
You are right it is not worth a career to lie about an issue let alone go to court or loose your reputation and future business. Have a happy new year!
Well said and my experience is that most people are honest and would never ask us to conceal a material fact and the only response can be no if asked to do so.
If telling the lie isn't frightening, the consequences most assuredly will be. It pays to be honest!
Norma, this is so very true. Sadly, a lie, a small stretch of the truth or an omission, these are just normal days at the office for many real estate agents.....but it all serves to give the profession a bad name.
All Mountain - Not to mention that the truth is so much easier to remember!
Stan - Once spoken, those words are "out there" and can never be taken back--amended yes, but why not tell the truth from the start?
Dawn - I agree--thankfully such requests are not the norm but they do happen and it is our duty to stop them before they grow into something damaging.
Margo - And it is less stressful too!
Larry - Intentional omission happens all too often.
Norma, most who lie, think only of the moment and do not consider the future consequences. Short sighted and can cost a career. Enjoyed meeting you on AR this year and wish you all the best in 2011.
Great blog Norma! I think we've all be in a position to conceal something during a transaction. The problem with lies is not only do they have a long shelf life, as you pointed out, but they only seem to grow while they sit on that shelf. In this business it shouldn't be about concealing or lying, but about making a transaction work despite the troublesome issue.
Have a great new year!
Ellie - Likewise, and I wish you much success in 2011.
You're right, a short term solution based on a lie is no way to have a long term career.
Lucille - Like you, I prefer to handle the issue the moment it arises--rather than years later when it has ballooned and taken on a life of its own.
Good post!! Yes, we can't afford professionally or personally to conceal truths. I agree with All Mountain--I like to sleep at night too! Happy New Year!
Thuis happens on the Lending side also......are you really going to occupy the 5th property that you are buying? Is the $5000 that just appeared in your bank account really yours? George Costanza said, "Its not a lie, if you beleive it". Funny, but not so. If something is not the truth, what else can it be? With everything that this industry has gone thru and the "stigma" that it now carries due to headlines, Integrity and credibility need to be front and center
Thanks for the great post!!
Sylvie - No deal is worth a lie, and like you, I really enjoy a good night's rest.
Kevin - Trust is fragile and can be lost by telling one lie.
Great post Norma. Being dishonest (whether outright or by omission) will always come back to haunt our careers one way or the other. I don't want to spend my time loking over my shoulder for things that may come back and haunt me.
Malcolm - If I'm always looking over my shoulder waiting for something to catch up with me, I'm pretty sure it would keep me from seeing where I want to go in the future. I'm a relationship based agent as opposed to a transaction based one--the fastest way to lose a client is to destroy the trust they place in us.
Norma,
Great post, and I really like that quote by Sir Walter Scott. Use of language is key in any business, and clarity in communication leads to trust. Wishing you an outstanding 2011. R & A
R and A - Communicating with clarity and honesty is a wonderful way to build trust--one lie can destroy years of work.