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She's Single, Scared and Buying Her First Home Alone--Maybe


For the past few days I've been dealing with a client who is struggling with moving her life to the next level. She wants to buy a condo, she's qualified to buy one, but fear is holding her back. With all due respect, the world has thrown her more than one curve ball and she decided to take a long time-out. But now she can't get off the bench. It feels good to be safely shielded from the hot spots of life and the glaring demands it makes. She's sitting and watching, and too fearful of a long list of "what ifs" to venture back into the game.

She's a woman alone and filled with desire to own a home, but held back by fear. Life is coming at her way too fast for comfort. Divorce, children leaving the nest, new job and new residence all occurred during the past two years. Now she needs to move from her temporary rental and purchase a condo. She's fighting this on every level, because she is not ready to accept the singularity of her new life.

It is difficult to move to the next level if you are lugging all the baggage from your past. Lighten the load and the ascent will be easier. The children no longer need their own rooms when they come home from college. The over-sized dining room set from the house in the suburbs needs to stay in the burbs.  In order to move on some things must be left behind.

The loan is approved, the condo is identified, but she can't bring herself to sign the contract. So tomorrow we will look at more condos and postpone the decision once again. She wants to make sure the one she has chosen is the right one. But do we ever know for sure it, whatever your it may be, is the right one? I don't think so.  You narrow it down, roll the dice and go for it.

Years ago I had a similar conversation with a street smart friend, except that time I was the one hovering in an indecisive state. I was weighing the pros and cons of a major life change. Each side of the balance sheet was weighted with credible justification to choose that particular path. My friend listened and watched as I circled around the decision for days. Finally, one evening when the topic came up for the umpteenth time he cut me off with a comment I shall remember as long as I live. With a chuckle, to soften the finality of his words I suspect, he said, "Sometimes you just have to drop your pants and slide on the ice."

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South Bay Los Angeles cities I sell real estate and homes in: Palos Verdes Estates, Rolling Hills, Rolling Hills Estates, Rancho Palos Verdes, San Pedro, Long Beach, Torrance, Lomita, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach and Manhattan Beach.


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Norma Toering - REMAX Palos VerdesNorma Toering & Team
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South Bay Los Angeles cities I sell real estate, property, houses and homes in: Palos Verdes Estates, Rolling Hills, Rolling Hills Estates, Rancho Palos Verdes, San Pedro, Long Beach, Torrance, Lomita, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach and Manhattan Beach. Based on information from the Association of REALTORS®/Multiple Listing as of the initial date of this article/blog publication and /or other sources. Display of MLS data is deemed reliable but is not guaranteed accurate by the MLS. The Broker/Agent providing the information contained herein may or may not have been the Listing and/or Selling Agent.

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31 commentsNorma Toering • January 30 2008 05:18PM
She's Single, Scared and Buying Her First Home Alone--Maybe
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For the past few days I've been dealing with a client who is struggling with moving her life to the next level. She wants to buy a condo, she's qualified to buy one, but fear is holding her back. With all due respect, the world has thrown her more… more
Rancho Palos Verdes Real Estate Jan. 2008 -- Sales, Statistics & Such
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If you enjoy following the trends in Rancho Palos Verdes real estate, check out the chart below for number of sales, days on market and existing inventory. For a personalized market report on your neighborhood call Norma Toering. Date 10/06 11/06… more
Palos Verdes Estates Real Estate Jan. 2008 -- Sales, Statistics and…
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The numbers are in for Palos Verdes Estates real estate activity for the past 15 months. Check out the chart below for price per square foot, number of days on market and other pertinent Palos Verdes Estates real estate information. Date 10/06 11… more
Rolling Hills Estates Real Estate Jan. 2008 -- Sales, Statistics &…
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If you enjoy tracking the Rolling Hills Estates real estate activity these numbers are for you! Here's a great overview of the real estate market for the past 15 months. Rolling Hills Estates inventory is down to 11 homes from a high of 29 homes… more
Rolling Hills Real Estate Jan. 2008 -- Sales, Statistics & Such
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If you love to follow the Rolling Hills real estate market, these numbers are for you! December 2007 posted 3 sales in Rolling Hills with an average price per square foot of $982. December 2007 also posted the highest sale price ever for a single… more
The Psychology and Impact of Front Page Headlines
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The front page of today's Wall Street Journal featured the following headlines: Largest Bold Text: Bill Gates Issues Call for Kinder Capitalism (positive) Large Bold Text: Stocks Reverse Early Losses, Close Up 2. 5% (positive) Large Bold Text: … more
How Many McMansions Do We Need?
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McMansions are mushrooming up throughout the hills of the coastal community I live and work in. As I walk through the limestone laden hallways and cavernous bedroom suites I can't help but wonder what it is in our human nature that compels us to… more
Pricing New Listings with Confidence--No Magic Required
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Yesterday a fellow agent invited me to see an upcoming listing. She wanted an opinion on what the price should be. It is a custom one-of-a-kind, although dated, house. In other words, there are no comparable sales in the neighborhood, and no… more
Palos Verdes Peninsula Land Conservancy-- Volunteers Needed
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With the 400 additional acres acquired in 2005 in the Portuguese Bend Nature Preserve, the Palos Verdes Peninsula Land Conservancy has a lot more planting, weeding, trail maintenance and beautification projects to do. The nonprofit organization is… more
5 Things I Love About Life in Palos Verdes
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I was recently asked by a soon-to-be resident what I like best about living in Palos Verdes. My answer was not as concise and to the point as I would have liked. Later, I found myself thinking about the very legitimate question and here's my list… more